10 Things You Should Never Say to a Dancer

Sometimes keeping your mouth shut is in your best interest.

 

 

 

1.)  “You're too good for this place.” or, “You deserve so much better than this.”

First of all, you don't know me.  Maybe I like this place.  Maybe I like what I do.  Maybe your definition of 'better' heavily differs from mine.  Don't tell me what kind of work I should be doing, that 'someone like me' could get so much more out of a different job.  I've had different jobs, and they fucking suck.  You want me to get into some white collar profession?  Fine.  Then pay my college tuition, buy my books, pay for my testing fees, and support a jobless me until I find a job opening in my field of study.

 

 

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2.)  “What do I get if I buy a private room instead of a couch dance?”

A dance and private conversation where other people aren't around to bother us.

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3.)  “But what if I tip you extra?”

Oh!  Well if that's what you're into, then you get a dance and private conversation where other people aren't around to bother us, AND a gracious 'thank you' from the Pay Riley's Bills Foundation.

 

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4.)  “You're lucky you're not my girlfriend, I would never let you do this.”

No, I'm lucky I'm not your girlfriend because you seems like a controlling, pretentious douchebag.  Has no one ever told you that you never "let" a woman do anything?  She's probably going to do whatever she wants, regardless of what you have to say about it.  

 

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5.)  “Too bad you're not my girlfriend, you'd never have to do this.”

Too bad you think this is something I have to do, like I have no free will or something.

 

 

 

6.)  “$300 an hour? I'd pay you a lot more than that to just come to my place to dance and chill.”

That's nice, but I don't care.  Also, I feel like you're lying for some reason.  You won't pay for a private room where you get a naked chick grinding on you, but you'll pay more for me to come over in a hoodie and sweatpants to eat your food, play your video games and pay more attention to your dog than you?  If you expect anything beyond that, you're an idiot.  I work when I'm at work.  You don't come home from your job at wherever you work, only to keep doing shit you've done all day at work do you?

 

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7.)  “Is that all you're going to take off?” or, “That's it?”

Yes.  This question pisses me off to no end.  If you're only spending $20 for 4 minutes of my time, I'm likely not going any more naked than topless.  It's going to take a lot longer for me to get my clothes back on and situated, than the time I spent taking them off.  And yes, that's it.  If you want more time, you have to spend more money. I didn't think this concept was that difficult.

 

 

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8.)  “We all know what really happens in the back.”

Do you, now?  How do you know what happens in the back?  Are you security?  Are you watching the cameras?  We actually have customers that will pay us to change into our street clothes, and sit and talk to them for the duration of the room, or some who just want to massage our backs or feet with no weird shit.  Albeit they are few and far between, but they do exist.  I actually had a customer once who paid for a half hour room so HE could dance for ME.  I'm not kidding. It was a little weird, but thoroughly enjoyable.  We both had fun, and I made money.  So no, you don't know what really happens in the back.

 

 

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9.)  “I'm not gonna pay some chick to rub her ass on my lap or shake her tits in my face. That's stupid.”

Then why are you here?  These are the types of guys that complain about 'being turned on and cut loose'.  That's kind of the idea, I'm supposed to turn you on so you want to spend more money on me.

 

 

 

10.)  “Well the club we usually go to lets us get away with a lot more.”

Cool.  Then go there instead of coming here and trying to get away with your ridiculous shit.  I don't know why you expect to get treated like royalty everywhere you go, but you're definitely not going to get that here.

 

 

 

BONUS!  

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And one of my most favorite lines of all time,

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11.)  “I've seen more action at the library!”

There's a small back story to this one.  I was on stage when two of my close friends (also dancers) joined me for a girl-on-girl-on-girl show.  We're not the only dancers that engage in these activities once in a while, but it's usually more for our own fun than anyone else's.  One girl is laying on top of me and we're giggling (probably about something stupid and immature as usual), when some asshole comes up and cops this line.  Without missing a beat, the girl on top of me looks at him and says, “Then go to the fucking library”.  We made jokes about this for the rest of the night.

 

On that note, as I've mentioned, we were doing this for our own damn selves.  We're having fun and other customers are enjoying it.  We've also decided that he is the kind of guy that goes to the library to rent out old high school biology books, so he can masturbate to diagrams of the female anatomy since the library has internet blocks that prevent access to porn sites.

 

 

 

 

          Sometimes ignorant comments make me laugh.  Dancers hear ridiculous shit all the time, and it's not always degrading.  It's not hard to say something offensive or upsetting, without ever realizing it.  Sincere compliments can be taken the wrong way, especially if someone is bad with the delivery.  I don't let people get under my skin, regardless of who they are; customer, other dancers, family, etc.  I just take their little tidbits and use them in my blog :)

 

Always, 

  Riley