On Self Acceptance

(inspired by RazorbladeJake)

 

BEFORE YOU WATCH THE FOLLOWING VIDEO: Please note that he is naked.  Yes. Completely naked – however, the naughty-bits are covered and there is nothing inappropriate about this video.  At no point does anything “pop out” so you needn't bate your breath waiting for something to happen.  So please, watch and enjoy, and listen to the wonderful message that Jake has shared with us.

 

Link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KSJ9GP9HyWA

Source:  YouTube

Original Content:  realrazorbladejake; "Self-Acceptance over Self-Confidence"

Duration:  2m 8s

 

 

          I have dealt with self-confidence issues my entire life.  I know most people have, many far worse than myself.  It's such a ridiculous thing to be concerned with how you appear to others, especially if there are things about yourself that you just can't help.  I don't think there's a single person I've met in my entire life that wouldn't change at least one thing about themselves, given the opportunity.  Hell, I can probably fill an entire notebook with things I'd like to change about myself.  One of my biggest pet peeves is when someone says something like, “Well your boyfriend loves you, right? That should make you happy!”, or “I wish I had your body! I don't see why you're so self-conscious!”, and while I appreciate the sentiment, some people just don't understand that everyone has their own brand of discomfort within themselves.

 

          There is nothing wrong with not liking yourself as you are.  It's okay to have self-confidence issues. It is perfectly normal to want to look or be like someone else.  I'm sure you yourself (yeah, you, the one reading this), have at one point or another wished you had a certain attribute of another person.  Regardless of your gender, gender identity, race, age, wealth, assets, popularity – whatever you are, whatever you have – everyone has envied another person at some time in their life.  We all wish we possessed a quality or two (or thirty-seven) of someone else.  We're so caught up in picking at what we don't like about ourselves, that we often lose sight of what there is to like about ourselves; or worse yet, we fail to accept that we do possess appealing features.  It absolutely breaks my heart to see people that I adore, bullying themselves because someone made them feel like they weren't worthy of having the ability to accept themselves.  There are women in my life who I'm envious of for one reason or another (for the purpose of this topic, I'll use body type as an example).  I have told these women that I wish I was as thin as them, or that my boobs were the shape and size of theirs, or have even just given them a general compliment.  Being open about saying things like these will typically warrant one of 3 responses:

 

1.)  They tell me I'm full of shit because they can't see what I find so appealing;

2.)  They express their desire to change that part of themselves to be like someone else's (and sometimes that someone is actually me!).
3.)  They smile and thank me for the compliment.

 

This, in turn, has taught me 3 very valuable things:

 

1.)  They have such little confidence in themselves that they can't accept a compliment;  

2.)  Even the people you wish you looked like, wish to look like someone else;
3.)  They are comfortable enough with themselves to accept a compliment.

 

          It's so unfortunate that we live in a society where people are shamed for who they are.  It seems like no matter what you look like, you're ugly to someone, somewhere.  Even if you're absolutely beaming with confidence and self-love, someone somewhere is going to think ill of you.  That's a fact of life.  You don't like everyone, and not everyone likes you.  And that is just fucking peachy!  You are not designed for everyone to like you.

 

          I have been berated by quite a few people; terrible, awful, hurtful things have been said directly to my face, behind my back, and about me online.  I have been ridiculed for just about everything – my body, personality, character, sex life, financial status, intelligence level, profession, lifestyle, and even my upbringing – and you know what?  I've learned to let things like that serve as entertainment rather than letting them upset me.  I know, that's easier said than done, but it can be done.  It takes patience and a deep understanding of yourself and others.

 

          Psychology states that when someone insults you, they're simply projecting their own insecurities on to you in order to feel better about themselves.  They are using you as a canvas to paint with the hatred and displeasure they have within themselves, about themselves.  There are two types of mindsets that speak to behavior of these people:

 

The Predator-Prey Mentality:  they know you're already insecure about yourself, you're vulnerable and therefore an easy target.  You are their prey; a timid little mouse and they are the cat that wants to destroy you.

 

The Crab Mentality:  they see that you're comfortable and confident with yourself, they envy the amount of acceptance you have of yourself and wish to bring you down because they themselves wish they were as happy with themselves as you are with your own self.

 

Both of these types people are toxic.  They haven't accepted themselves for who they are and can't handle it.  Everyone has flaws.  EVERYONE.  From acne to bad credit; no one is perfect.  It is when you understand that and accept it for what it is, that you will begin to transcend the negativity that makes you feel like less than you really are.  When you push yourself forward and disregard the harmful influences around you, something magical happens:  you begin to love yourself.  When you begin to love yourself, you'll notice how much certain things in your life will change.  Better people will gravitate to you, and you to them.  The toxic people won't be able to touch you, let alone damage you.  You will no longer be infected by their disease.  Empower yourself in whatever way works for you, then work on empowering others.  Be synergistic in your journey; everyone needs help appreciating themselves from time to time.  If you need help picking yourself up, find someone to help you.  Learn from others how to appreciate yourself.  Learn how to not only accept compliments, but to actually start to believe them.

 

          Do yourself one final favor...  Stop trying to to be someone else.  Yes, you can absolutely work on bettering yourself if you feel the need – you can lose weight, get cosmetic surgeries, get tattoos and piercings, do whatever you want with your hair – but never try to emulate someone else.  You may end up getting discouraged and bring your confidence even lower.  Work on yourself as you are, for yourself and no one else.  Don't change something about yourself because someone made you think you had to.  The right people are going to accept you for who you are, and you don't need to associate with anyone who doesn't.

 

 

          And always remember:  Whoever is trying to bring you down, is already below you.  Whoever you are, whatever you do, just fucking own that shit.

 

 

Always,

 Riley